so so much…

to catch up on… where to start?
work-barman… fun. stressfull at times… but still fun. Tips are awesome. talk to guests… compliment them… get paid hahahaha… sucking up to the people sucks balls -_-; you can imagine me saying this no? hehe.
resort life-too fun… never has dropped below 24 degrees while here… only rains at night when i’m asleep then perfect weather the next day…
people- are nice… but a lill too basic for me… most of their life is like work/drinking/getting high…not the best lifestyle…
but it’s what keeps them here on this island…for me working/getting high/and appreciating everything is just as good.
Seems like my time on this island is getting better by the days… i’m getting used to 2-3 am closes… and talking to alot I MEAN ALOT of fobs… i use english and then they are like wooooaaaaa…

LOL><

I don't say much to the "aussies" and english people though… they think i'm some mute dude… but hey who gives a shit… They don't know me at all and I know everything about them puahahahhaha feels like i'm like a hidden Dailo of the joint.

The beach is sooo awesomes… the stars at night… they just amaze you
I have never seen the star constallations so clearly… God is a Dailo… Shooting stars I see like freaking a dozen a night puhahahahaha. Yes I have made many wishes…

Nothing matters on this island… what ever happens on Tangalooma stays in tangalooma… I seen and experienced so much cracked shit on this island its not funny. If it was the Sydney me.. I would have bashed everyone by now… cause of their stupidity levels…bye for now…

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Won’t

be around on wordpress for a while… but everytime i get the chance I shall blog and give out my highly valued comments and props…
I’m seeking change…
I’m hoping that I will find myself.
I hope I come back a better person…
Trug outs…

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I have done

so many bad things whilst I’ve been a so called “christian”…
Drinking…
Smoking…
Smoking other things…
Partying hard…

and other stupid behavior…
I guess what they say is right…
you hang around people that do “different” things… you will change…
for the worst…
After being baptised I thought I was in the clear…
I messed up…
I hated on people that didn’t really deserved it…
It was all my doing in the first place…
And now I’m leaving the church and sydney with out fully fixing things up…
Man I have fucked things up…
Dam you pride… Dam you ego… Dam you anger…
DAM YOU!!!

What now? forgive and ask to be saved? I’ve done so much bad shit… I don’t know if I can live with it…
I need to change and fix my self up. While I am there…
I cuts and burns me to the core… I’ve messed it all up and I’ve pushed myself away from it all…

I feel helpless… annoyed and sad…
And now to make things more messed up is I don’t have enough funds to settle down there…
It apparently costs like 800 bucks to settle…
I don’t have that kind of money…

God has actually got me this time…
I don’t deserve anything… I’m fucked… I’m properly fucked…
Fuck…
we will see how it pans out… I still have a couple days left…

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I really hate it when people…

Just let you down… omfg…

FFS… yes… my boss hasn’t paid me… omg… how can he do this?
I know it’s not his fault but far out… ;faoihw39fuw3[gjw[‘hg[a’w93hrw;rj3;woi
I have shit to pay off! fucken hell…
What am I going to do?
I have bills to take care of… OMFG…


This is what puts me on major tilt…

Fuck it whatevs

On another note… I’m off to QLD yes… I am off to QLD… Good bye to shit cunts, goodbye to dumb cunts and good bye to all the fucken people that has wasted my fucken time for the last 5 months… Hope you all die and get hit by a car…

I will miss the rest… I will miss our crack arounds… miss our chill out seshs… I will miss the times you had my back when I was down…
But I need a sea change. I need to do this so I can keep my sanity…

The worst thing is to be deleted from my list of people I care about… You pushed me into this corner… I tried… I really tried to forgive and forget… But it doesn’t work…
I have quit Cells, quit MAIL and quit Church all together…

I will never say hi to you again… I will never care about you ever again… you are dead to me… You will know that you are dead to me…
The scariest thing about me is, if you dead to me… you’re out.

This makes things alot easier for everyone… hate me and i’ll hate you… and just to stay out of each others way.
I’m going to FNP… So I can say my last goodbyes to the people that I do care about…
The rest… well… you know who you are anyways… so it will be easy.

This trip will give me a chance to get away from this shit hole and see different people in a different environment. I will be able to re-invent myself…
I will become a Dailo…
I will have my head held high…
I will think about the failed relationships and that will motivate me to find better people out there.
Judge me… Hate me… wish bad things upon me… I’ll do the same…

Bad Company changes good character…
I had a good heart and good character… you changed it… so fuck you hope you die and burn.
It’s a sad ending… But at least I’ve learnt alot from it.

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Let us all get up and

Jump for joy :-D
It’s my second last day at Zesty Consulting Group.
After a 4 and half years it’s about time it ended…
The sad thing is I’ve worked all this time and it feels like I have accomplished nothing -_-;;
But matters not. I have hacked my debt from 20k to under 5k in the span on 7 months… And now I can breathe a lill but I’m not out of the woods just yet~

I can’t wait til I’m done here… one more freaking day of this… come on time~ please fly by…
the other awesome thing is I’m going to get my full blown wage which is like the nicest thing that the Korean Natzi boss has ever done for me…

I have mentioned it to a few peole. But my thoughts of over seas travel has been getting stronger…
I have a few placed lined up to work for but the one thing I’m waiting on is a confirmation for a start date at Tangaloom Island Resort. Is it far from Sydney? Yes. Is it in QLD? Yes. If I get the job will I leave? I don’t know.

I just started MAIL team as well that’s what the sick thing is. If I leave for QLD that means I’ll have to stop MAIL team as I won’t be there physically… Biggest Sad face…

But you know nothing has been like 100% padded down… so I’ll just have to wait and see.
The TRUG has alot of free time now… Will probably play alot of ball and crack around with some old time friends.

I’ve missed my cumbo mates, syd boys mates, my nsb dongsengs, fob dongsengs and even the old school O.G boys… Need to catch up with all of them. Come to think about it I haven’t caught up with Church people as well… I guess Sunday will be the day…

Who ever reads this that considers themselves to be a friend of mine, holla and I’ll come and crack around with you at Uni or during ur lunch break.

Trug out.

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Ok…

I’ve gave notice for leaving my job without securing a the next role. dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb…
So far me and weshli have been talking about how much we hated our jobs… and now… it’s done…
Weshli did it first… I got inspired by him so I did it this morning…
Feel free… epic freedom…
gonna look for some work now…
Don’t know what I’ll do…
I know I won’t get paid as much at the next place but at least I’ll be gettin super and annual leave…

Yes I’ve been working for a company that has given me no annual leave and no superannuation…
Wanted to take them to court? yes…
Wanted a tax return? hells yeah…

But did they pay me enough to keep my mouth shut?
yes…
But now that I think about it, it was pretty boon of me to stoop for cash…
I’ve developed nothing for my future career… Come to think about it, I don’t think I’ve accomplished much over the 4 and half years I’ve been in this business…

I know I can do better…
It seems that I feel it’s time to move…
Anyways…

Moving along.
Have you ever had those moments when they mention something it strikes out to be really important but to others it seems like “Meh~~”?

I’ve been getn that alot these days… Esp. with pg1 and pg2… Seems that it looks very important and urgent to me… but to others it’s like ~”I’m sure someone would stand up”

Is God talking to me?
Or is the Holy Spirit?
Both?
Who knows But it feels that I need to be there… the problem is there are epic changes happen’n in my life…

MAIL team…
Woah… Janice quite the dailo bob she is…testimony was quite awesome-ness…

JAPAN has been on my mind ever since my old mate Kevin Yoon(AKA Victor’s older brew) came down to Aus for two weeks…

Apparently I would tear that country apart… He said I’ll go places… The question is… Do I want to go there? Mind says yes… Heart says no…
In the next couple of months it will become more clear to me on what I want to do with myself for 2010…
It seems that my life has been an epic “Adhoc” basis. Nothing has ever been pre-casted or pre-meditated…

I want change… I need a sea change but it God say ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF then so be it.

Pedros are just fail pizzas imo btw…Tasted like… Ahhhhh Mc Cain you’ve done it again…
okthxbye.

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About time…

I have realised something…
I do go back and forth with my faith alot… The struggles for good and evil…
I know how to be a good person… but also know how to be a bad person as well…
It seems that I know how to be a bad person alot more… Lets just say I’ve had more exp.?? :-l

It seems that God loves me… feels weird…Never I have seen him or shook hands etc etc… and yet I know he’s real like day and night…

Even when I was struggling…he was there… hearing voices…(not the emo/downer type voices) But a soft voice that is calm and deep…”It’s ok you’ll come back. I know” and “Come back to me. I will help you”

These are the things I have heard whilst I was cracking around and hanging around the different kind of crowds…
I need to be stronger. I know I have been saved and I know He loves me… But I need to show that I’m devoted to him also… This is my final choice-arms…

I really have to quit smoking… I really need to stop drinking(I know I said I have stopped but eeeeeeeeeh….)
I am going to my first MAIL team meeting tmr…
omgoodness… nervous and excited at the same time…

Oh another major bombshell… I’ve decided to drop out of college… I hate studying. I’m going to study what I actually enjoy…Adv. Dip. in Health Science ^_^…
The only thing is I’m a poor ass in debt X-/

Things are looking bright… I should have done this ages ago… But least I’m doing it rather than not doing it at all~
Trugs… Fighting It has only just begun…

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